Queersecrets Sucks, I understand that people are upset that they’re hearing AGAIN that you have to be skinny to be androgynous, but don’t blame someone for internalising it. that’s victim-blaming and it’s fucked up. someone who is hurting themselves because they believe the lies they’ve been told is not your fucking enemy. blame our sexist, fatphobic, queerphobic culture. also it is really common for people with EDs to think that they are not “sick enough” or “thin enough” to have a real problem. it’s part of the disease and it’s also down to media misrepresentation of EDs. that may be why the OP said “starving” instead of “eating disorder” or “anorexia”. how is “practically starving yourself” not an eating disorder of some sort? seeing those comments was really upsetting for me. it just reinforced my belief that I can never tell anyone about my eating disordered history because nobody will believe me and everybody will think I’m sexist or shallow.

I understand that people are upset that they're hearing AGAIN that you have to be skinny to be androgynous, but don't blame someone for internalising it. that's victim-blaming and it's fucked up. someone who is hurting themselves because they believe the lies they've been told is not your fucking enemy. blame our sexist, fatphobic, queerphobic culture.

also it is really common for people with EDs to think that they are not "sick enough" or "thin enough" to have a real problem. it's part of the disease and it's also down to media misrepresentation of EDs. that may be why the OP said "starving" instead of "eating disorder" or "anorexia". how is "practically starving yourself" not an eating disorder of some sort?

seeing those comments was really upsetting for me. it just reinforced my belief that I can never tell anyone about my eating disordered history because nobody will believe me and everybody will think I'm sexist or shallow.

Anonymous

First of all, I did not mean at all to blame the person for internalizing these beliefs! Instead, I was simply pointing out the flaws in the common interpretations of androgyny which often hurt androgynous folk. I don’t blame the OP of the secret at all for internalizing these beliefs, however, I was just stating facts! I’m sorry if that came off harsher than I intended. As in, I am really, really, really sorry about that. It was not my place to criticize the person writing that secret in any way!!!

As for the ED stuff, as I mentioned, I don’t have, nor have I ever had, an eating disorder. Thus, I really don’t have such a great perspective on this issue, and I was very hesitant to make any conclusion about the topic in my response. I do, however, completely emphasize with what you’re saying, and I agree that the other commenters were too quick to draw a conclusion about whether or not the secret’s OP “really” had an eating dosorder or not.

I’m sorry those comments upset you. That’s a terrible, terrible thing. I will take into account the need to be more sensitive to victims or positive victims of eating disorders in the future.

I send you my best wishes and much, much respect.

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